Porch Swings and Prayer

           

Country music singer Kellie Pickler has a song on her first album entitled “My Angel.”  The song pays tribute to her deceased grandmother who raised her.  There’s a line in the song that goes something like this…”on the front porch in that old blue swing, you would sit and we would sing Amazing Grace and Jesus Loves Me…”  The album came out several years ago and I remember listening to the song with my cousins Rhonda, Sherry, and Diane.  We all just sat there in tears thinking about Bertie Mae, our grandmother. 

Autumn takes me back to the days when Bertie Mae loved to venture out to the front porch.  She loved it when the season began to change and the air was cooler.  As the school bus dropped us off each day, she would be perched there, legs crossed, swinging back and forth and whistling a familiar tune.  We always had to stop and tell her about our day.  She was our symbol of home.  She had this amazing ability to calm everything.  She was the constant spiritual influence in the lives of each member of our family.  I spent countless hours in “therapy” in that swing beside her.  In my younger days when I was struggling with a test or a school bully to my adult days of career worries and love lost, she always had inspiring words.

One of the most memorable and heart wrenching nights I remember is when my first cousin Tim was killed in motorcycle accident.  We were both 15 at the time.  Several family members were at a community meeting in Roy Webb fighting the board of education to keep the small elementary school open when we got the news of the tragic accident.  We rushed home to Bertie Mae.  My uncle had already delivered the news.  I ran toward her porch but he held up his hand to stop us.  She was sitting in the porch swing in the dark alone, he stood on the steps nearby, giving her privacy.  I asked what she was doing and she simply replied, “I am praying, Sugar.”  Looking back there are so many times I walked up and found her in that swing with her eyes closed.  We used to tease her about napping in the swing, but I realize most of the time she was deep in conversation with the Lord. 

Anytime there was an illness or a tragedy in our family I was worried about her.  This just demonstrates my inexperience with faith.  She was always okay.  She had God on her side.  She always calmed me when I was in one of my high strung panic stages by telling me “The Lord’s gonna take care of me.”  As I have matured in my faith and spirituality I understand that connection and appreciate her convictions.  She was exactly right.  She didn’t leave this earth until God was ready for her and that’s just the way it works.  There was no need to worry.

Several years ago I was walking through Lowe’s and I spotted a beautiful white porch swing.  It was perfect.  It reminded me so much of the swing she had.  I bought it and put it on my front porch.  It was cooler weather at the time and I was particularly missing her and going through a hard time emotionally.  I used to take a blanket and go out on the porch, sit on my steps, wrap up and stare at that swing.  As I prayed, I could just see her sitting there, counseling me.  I found a lot of comfort there and over time it really improved my prayer life.  I moved from that house and my best friend is now using the swing, but I go by often and sit a spell and it brings back wonderful memories and offers great comfort like the kind that only comes from above. Thank God for extraordinary people like Bertie Mae and the outstanding Christian lives they lead.

----from the book Hiding In The Dark, Rob Goodwin

America: A Christian Nation

I was in the sixth grade the first time I realized America was filled with people who wanted to remove God from anyone’s public life.  I was a student at Roy Webb Elementary, a beautiful brick country schoolhouse located in the northern corner of Calhoun County in Alabama.  The community was just about as rural as it could be.  Five buses brought approximately 200 kids from Kindergarten age to twelve years old each day to this old fashioned institution.  The halls and classrooms were filled with beautiful hardwood floors.  Our class had a traditional cloak room located in the rear where the students would gather each morning to hang coats and share secrets.

Our teacher for the first three periods was Gary Holloway, also the school’s Principal.  He was an oversized big hearted man.  His appearance may have instilled fear, but his disposition was that of a loving father figure.  He was the kind of Educator who became a teacher because he loved children and wanted to make a difference.  On this particular morning, he pulled up his usual stool in the front of the classroom and told us he was going to lead a prayer before we went to the lunchroom for breakfast.  If anyone didn’t want to pray, we could step outside the room.  I looked around the room thinking, “who in the world doesn’t want to pray?” 

Later in the morning, I caught up with Mr. Holloway for a private conversation.  I asked him why he offered for someone to leave the room if they didn’t want to pray.  He looked down at me with an authoritative look and told me not to worry, everyone in my class wanted to pray.  I pressed him as I always did when I needed more information.  Finally he shifted his weight to the other foot and confessed that there was a lot of conversation going around about how prayer was not allowed in public schools anymore and most of the schools were following the law, but he felt that God still had a place there at Roy Webb.  I was proud of Mr. Holloway.  As I have grown up and watched my fellow Americans submit to the injustice of the official removal of prayer from schools and public places, I wish we all had the resolve and faith of Mr. Gary Holloway.

This week Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran visited New York City and the U.N.  He blamed America for the September 11 attacks, suggesting it was a conspiracy by our own government.  Ahmadinejad and other Muslim extremists such as Osama Bin Laden, etc, want to see America fall.  This country was founded on Christian principles and became the nation it is today by the grace of God.  This goes against everything Muslim extremists believe.  How do we combat an enemy who wants to see us destroyed?  We certainly don’t do it by cowering down and forgetting who holds the future for this nation.  America must stand strong against the evils on the other side of the world and here among us as well.  Christians have the right to serve God in this country in everything we do.  I am sick and tired of hearing the explanation that religion doesn’t belong in the government or other public arenas.  The Muslim religion has been given so much media attention and has been crying wolf for years about rights.  Again, this nation was founded as a Christian nation.  All of Europe may have converted to a “free thinking” socialistic society, but that is not what I want for America.  Call me a right wing evangelical conservative if you like, but I just prefer to be called a Christian.  I am a sinner trying to get to heaven.  I don’t live a perfect life, and I don’t claim to believe that anyone can, but I know that God created this entire world and His Son died for the sins of men everywhere!  I have the right to worship Him, write about Him, teach about Him, and pray to Him!  I couldn’t care less what a weak Congress or President feels about me offending a Muslim, Buddhist, Scientologist or whatever! 

Shame on Hollywood!!  Shame on you for using your celebrity status to promote everything except faith in God.  You should know that your success is only temporary and in the end you may be wondering why all your fame and fortune didn’t earn you a seat at the right hand of the Father.  I champion the leaders of this nation who are not afraid to speak out and put God first.  I am thankful for people like Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, and others who stand strong on their faith.  I applaud people like Ann Coulter for saying that after September 11 no Muslim should ever be allowed on another plane coming to the U.S.  When asked how she recommended they travel she replied, “take a camel!”

America is a Christian nation.  A nation full of sinners and it always will be.  We all need to stop trying to judge one another and live our own lives, make our choices and realize the only unified choice we have to make is to be a God-fearing nation. 

If we are unified in the belief that Christ is with us then we can fight with confidence, sure of victory.  With the Lord at our side,  victory is certain.  “Whatever is born of God overcomes the world.  And this is the victory that has overcome the world---our faith.”—I John 5:4

Welfare Reform Czar

Dear President Obama,

As a business professional, I have decided to apply for the position of Welfare Reform Czar.  I give you my word that I will reach out to both Democrats and Republicans to bridge the differences to insure the United States provides for those in need without discrimination or bias.  Here are my plans for improving the economy in America with a few adjustments to our current welfare program.

1.        In secular employment, a prospective candidate must pass a drug screening prior to being offered a position with most companies, and is often subject to random testing after employment.  Effective immediately all new applicants for welfare assistance will be required to pass a drug test.  All current citizens receiving welfare assistance will have a 30 day window before random drug testing will begin.  Once we begin random drug testing, a recipient will be notified by mail and must present themselves for testing within 72 hours in order to continue receiving benefits.  This practice alone should reduce the national welfare budget considerably, don’t you think?

2.       Single mothers who receive welfare benefits will have the opportunity to take advantage of a revamped “Welfare to Work” plan.  Our new agency will hire the most qualified recipients in each county to serve as job placement consultants and actually help mothers find positions while their children are in school.  Mothers who are able to find jobs to support themselves will actually enjoy free childcare.  Therefore, the money the current welfare system has been paying them in a check to stay home and lay in bed with their boyfriends will go to fund government run daycares for their children, so they can join the workforce.  The ambitious women can even go to school and learn trades which will help support their families.  The ones with bad attitudes who do not like this new way can get jobs in the chicken plants and then we won’t need the illegal aliens from Mexico anymore.  Either way, in order to receive benefits…they will be required to participate in the “Welfare to Work” plan.  Some welfare recipients may even be able to get jobs running the actual daycares in turn receiving a salary and eliminating their need for a monthly check!

3.       In order to reduce the costs of federally funded housing for the lower socioeconomic class, each “project” or HUD will be revamped.  Low cost housing will still be available for those who can’t afford to get apartments or houses on their own, but stronger rules will apply.  For example, curfews will be enforced, and there will be no sleepovers.  That’s right….the single mother with three kids can’t let number 1, 2, or 3’s baby daddy come for an overnight conjugal visit.  He will be required to obtain his own housing.  Here in America we are more than happy to provide housing as low as $80 per month, but no more “shacking up” when you are taking advantage of the low rates.  Now, if they want to get a job and baby daddy wants to get a job so they can pursue as much American freedom as they like without everyone else picking up the tab, that will be fine.  Hey you know what, we could even put some of those people to work who are on welfare as the “project manager.”  It will be their job to patrol the property and make sure at all times no one is violating the rules.  Since they will be receiving a paycheck for this job and paying taxes on it, they will no longer need a welfare check…look here, saving even more.  I bet baby Mama #2 might sign up for the job to manage the government housing where her ex is living with baby mama #3!  This is Amazing stuff.

4.       As the richest country in the world it is certainly our responsibility to take care of the disabled.  In fact, if we manage the program just right and save money on all the false claims we can actually give cost of living increases more frequently to those who are truly mentally or physically disabled.  How do we determine if someone truly deserves disability benefits?  Those candidates who suffered injuries while actually working move to the front of the line.  Once they have been diagnosed as  disabled by two separate physicians, it’s pretty clear they should be taken care of.  Unless we can find them non-physically demanding positions with the government, they should receive benefits right away.  As for those who file for disability and have never worked, we need to examine the situation a little more closely.  Of course drug tests need to be administered and a team of special “rehabilitating consultants” employed by the government should make every effort to find them a job that does not interfere with their disability.  In fact, those I mentioned earlier who might have some physical impairment might want to work part time as a “rehabilitating consultant,” in order to help others.  Those recipients who are hurt on the job and receive benefits and then later are able to work part time at jobs that do not interfere with their disability should not be penalized.  Call it racial profiling, discrimination, whatever you like, but if a person never had a consistent work record or made an effort to overcome their disability, they should be subjected to additional scrutiny.  I am qualified to serve as your Welfare Reform Czar, Mr. President.  I have had several doctors advise me that I would have no problem receiving disability benefits due to the nature of my mental illness, however, for 20 years I have been gainfully employed and I will continue along that route as long as possible, including hopefully serving my country in this most needed position.  For citizens sustaining injuries on the job, in the military, in an accident, or with a documented debilitating illness, they will be treated with the utmost respect and dignity.

5.       Food stamps must immediately be regulated Mr. President.  Did you know that my grandmother farmed all her life and when she became elderly, widowed and no longer able to farm she received $240 per month in social security, and $120 per month in food stamps?  There are many out there with the same story.  She gave $24 of the $240 to the local Church.  She stretched the rest to pay her bills and get by.  However, today there are people who didn’t work 45 years in the cotton fields, farms or mills who get as much as $500 per month in food stamps, but they trade the food stamps for cash!  I think maybe they pay their cell phone bills with the cash.  Some of them even go shopping at designer clothing stores, take cruises, and go to the casinos with the cash they get by trading their food stamps.  Yep, President Obama, I once had a young able bodied female in her mid twenties offer me $500 in food stamps for $300 in cash.  Here is my suggestion, let’s help the economy and those in need at the same time.  If Suzy Q is approved for $300 in food stamps, we will send a voucher each month to the nearest grocery store to her house.  They will provide her with the food on a daily, weekly or monthly basis however she chooses.  This provides business for the local store and it also takes care of Suzy Q, and imagine this, she doesn’t have to even worry about being tempted to sell her food stamps.  Now some may say, we are taking away her liberty…her independence, her right to choose where she shops.  There’s a way she can get all that back…..she can get a job, or she can just simply say “thank you.”

Mr. President, I am just full of ideas of how we can prevent the demise of social security and welfare by regulating the system now and encouraging many of its recipients to go back to work.  Also, imagine the votes you could get if you truly made an effort to reform the system paid for by the hard working people of America.  Mr. President, this is the most prosperous nation in the world.  It will only continue to be prosperous if we grow the middle class and stop trying to become so European.  Benevolence is an attribute that God endorses and also expects.  Surely with a little reform and control we can successfully take care of our own and teach the future leaders of America how to practice self responsibility. 

I look forward to an interview as I know you are in agreement this country needs a strong business man or woman to reform a failing system

Best Regards,

Robert Gowens-Goodwin

All Is Well

All Is Well


Victory over Bipolar Disorder, prologue from my book Hiding In The Dark



It took me several years to develop the courage to discuss my condition openly. I come from a long line of judgmental people. Being raised in a staunchly conservative and legalistic church environment didn’t help either. There was just no room for anyone who might be a little “different.” Even though I believe most of my family to have severe bipolar tendencies, not many of them will admit it or seek help today, and I strongly believe from my research and experiences, mental disorders are hereditary. Some of my closest friends and relatives have said to me, “why talk about it…why write about it…things like this should be kept private.” I respect that opinion. However, having been at the edge of suicide on several occasions, and at the point of almost no return, I believe talking about it, writing about it, and sharing can save other lives…as well as my own.

I had my first mental breakdown in 2003, it lasted for approximately 6 months. It was prompted by the death of my grandmother Bertie Mae and an influx of tumultuous memories and personal struggles from my youth. I began to withdraw from the world. I would go to work every day, then come home in the afternoon and cover the windows, doors, etc., with anything I could find to block the light. I just wanted to be in total darkness. I thought if no one can see me…I will be okay. I cried continually. I didn’t sleep. My weight fluctuated 10 to 15 pounds every week! I would have manic episodes on a daily basis….all hidden from everyone. At work, I developed a reputation for being a Jekyl and Hyde. I was loving and understanding one moment and bitter and infuriated the next. This was the first “major” breakdown of my life, but as I reflected and would later come to terms with, I had displayed these tendencies from a very early age. My erratic mood swings were undiagnosed for more than 20 years.

Fortunately, God had bigger plans for me. Even though I was turning my back on Him, He would not let me go. Sometimes I think Bertie Mae was campaigning with God on my behalf. She was up there in Heaven pleading with God to intervene. He did just that…in the form of an older married couple who had become my “God Parents.” C.E. and Jean Chappell became my life line. They recognized what was going on with me. Jean had experienced much of the same symptoms as I, therefore, they knew it was bad. They refused to listen to my excuses. They refused to let me hide from them. I finally broke and I confided in them. I even told them of my well laid plans to end it all. They took me to a doctor immediately. A very long process of ups and downs, progress and relapse, healing and regression, success and failure began to occur. It’s a battle that will likely never end in this life.

I told my story publicly for the first time in 2007, standing in the pulpit at the Ohatchee Church of Christ. The minister, Wayne Dunaway, who is a very good friend and advocate, gave me the opportunity to preach a sermon entitled, “Christians Overcoming Depression.” The sermon/testimony was well received and so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ came up to me and told me they had gone through similar bouts with depression. Millions of Americans do every year, but for so long we have treated these illnesses as taboo and made people afraid to get help. I was one of those people. I am so thankful the Chappell’s intervened when they did and rescued me. C.E. and Jean put me on the path to recovery.

Today, I am healthy and I try to be proactive in my fight against this illness. I support each person in their own plight to conquer mental disorders, whether it be through faith alone or with the assistance of medical treatment. My main goal is to be as productive as I can and set an example that there should be no stigma attached to people who battle mental illness. A mental illness is a medical problem. For some, it’s temporary, for others it can be more long term and can impact the lives of everyone around. The most important lesson I have learned is regardless of how you’re judged by friends and relatives, surround yourself with people who will love and support you unconditionally. Put God at the top of your list and pray daily for healing and strength. Many people who suffer from Bipolar disorder are some of the most creative and successful people in the world. I am determined to control what happens in my future. Defeat is no longer an option.

If one life is saved or one circumstance is made better because we have an open conversation about mental illness, then it’s worth any ridicule or criticism we might endure. In the words of my dear friend C.E. Chappell who has now gone to be with the Lord, “all is well.”

The Ant and The Grasshopper (Modern Version)

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.  The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.  CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.  America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?  Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray for thegrasshopper's sake.  President Obama condems the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.  Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.  Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government GreenCzar and given to the grasshopper.  The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.  The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.  The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken  over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.  The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be careful how you vote in 2010.