Tracy Lawrence sings one of my favorite country music songs of all time, “You Find Out Who Your Friends Are.” Like most country songs, all of us can relate certain aspects of our lives to the lyrics. For example, your car breaks down, you need a couch to sleep on…when your down on your luck, you call on a friend. Having a really good and close friend is an incredible gift from God and by mastering the art of friendship ourselves, we in turn show gratitude to God for the loved ones we have in our lives.
Jesus Christ gave a simple but profound illustration of expressing love by an act of service when He washed the feet of His disciples. It was customary for the servant of the house to wash the feet, but Jesus, exemplifying the humblest of hearts took this chore upon himself. Do we humble ourselves in love and friendship to our friends?
I have to tell you….I adore the people in my life I call my friends. In fact, several of my friends are constantly calling me “mushy.” You don’t find many men who are willing to openly express their feelings to others, both male and female. My Granny taught me at a very early age to show people how much you love them. It’s one of those things I just can’t control. I love to love other people. I believe it’s what God expects out of us. Now, you don’t necessarily have to talk about love to show it. There are so many acts of kindness a man or woman can perform to demonstrate their love for friends.
Building friendships based on love requires effort and discipline. We have to be willing to compromise and engage in activities that others desire even if it’s not something we are particularly interested in. Also, when building a strong relationship, we must be disciplined in the art of unconditional love. Isn’t it wonderful when you have a friend that never passes judgment on you? There is a quote I love to post on Facebook sometimes that reads something like this…”God never judges a man while he is still alive, why should we?” It’s hard not to judge someone that may have different attributes, pursuits or makes decisions we would not make, but true love and friendship is about acceptance, not necessarily understanding.
I have a friend named Michelle who I have only seen in person twice in my life. We met through a support group for Bipolar Disorder. She lives with her family in Seattle. We are in constant contact and I look forward to her daily emails, messages, phone calls, etc., and I know she looks forward to mine. We have very different lives, yet, we found something in common and we built a lifelong friendship that transcends distance. I sometimes wonder where I would be in life without her encouragement.
I have best friends at work, church, school, previous employers, etc., who know me as well or better than some family members and they accept by faults and celebrate my positive abilities.
I have a close knit circle of friends whom I travel with….Tracy, Cindy, and Paul. We share every aspect of our lives and we spend hours together in laughter and enjoyment of this principle God instilled in all of us to learn to love each other and live in harmony. I personally believe that if we have a desire to go to Heaven, we must learn to create a “heavenly heart” within ourselves on this earth.
It sounds a little like Utopia to imagine that everyone would get along all the time with the differing views and opinions on so many subjects. However, what I think we have to put into practice in our daily lives is tolerance. I do not know two people in this world who agree on every single detail of every single subject. The more I age, the more I understand that God wants me to “get out of his chair.” He wants me to allow him to determine what is right or wrong about other people and work on my own doorsteps. It is a hard lesson to learn, but once we do this, we can find more consistent happiness in our own lives.
Just as the country music tune chimes, “Somebody’s gonna drop everything…get there fast, never stop to think, what’s in it for me?” When you selflessly try to build friendships and speak or show your love for others, what’s in it for you is most likely greater than you could ever imagine. To my friends, this is for you….I love you!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
More Than Words
Today is Sunday and it was an incredibly uplifting day. My Minister spoke eloquently on a topic we all need to pay more attention to. He spoke of love for one another and tolerance. People are different. We should accept that and learn to live in harmony. God intends for His people to be the most loving and acceptable group in the human race. We have a lot of work to do in this area, but through the power of prayer, I have learned, anything is possible.
Many years ago my maternal grandmother, Bertie Mae Cochran taught me that you shouldn’t pursue anything in life that you haven’t prayed about. She told me that God knows what is in our hearts and minds. She said he already knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but he still wanted me to ask for it. She was incredibly right. There are so many blessings I have received in my life because after trying to accomplish them on my own, I finally turned to God and asked for His help. Once I submitted to His will, it would come to pass.
I used to always talk to Bertie Mae about my dreams. I would read short stories to her that I had penned and get her reaction. She always loved to hear my thoughts. She told me when I was alone in my room at night, to read them in prayer to the Lord.
As adults, we lose our way so often. Especially in a world where it’s common to put your faith in man over your faith in God, you are bound to be disappointed. Philippians says “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” It doesn’t say I can do all things through the President of my company, the leader of my social organization, or a member of my family. Another factor we seem to forget is that no one wants us to succeed more than God. Our spouses or companions, parents, siblings, best friends, etc., they may support us to the best of their ability, but that ability does not even come close to the desire the Father has for our well being. He wants to see the manifestation of all his children’s dreams as long as they are in our best interest and we don’t lose site that all glory belongs to Him.
William Arthur Ward said, “God wants us to be victors, not victims; to grow, not grovel; to soar, not sink; to overcome, not to be overwhelmed.” Trust in Him daily and pray diligently and we will find our victory.
Over the past several years I have found myself in seriously unhealthy situations. Some life threatening illnesses, self-destructing depression, and attacks from the devil and his adversaries to challenge my Christianity. I looked back on one of the last conversations I ever had with Bertie Mae. She told me once that when I write, it sounds like “more than just words.” She said it was inspiration on paper. She told me that I should write my prayers down and then when I realize God is answering them, I can go back and see his miraculous hand in my life daily. It took me several years and lots of turmoil to finally put the advice of the woman who served as my best friend and soul mate for 31 years into action.
Last year when some might think I was at rock bottom, I started a new journal of prayers. I penned entries each day pouring out my heart in private to God, through the power of prayer in Jesus name. I keep a prayer journal in my desk in my office. I keep a journal next to my bed at home. Almost one year to the day I began the “prayer journals,” I find myself the most happy, blessed and content I have ever been in my life. The work God has performed in my life has been amazing. I am in awe. My expectations were greatly exceeded. I am more excited about the future than I have ever been. I give all glory and honor to His name as it should be. I Chronicles 16:29 says “Give to the Lord the glory due His name….”
I have learned that a prayer must be sincere. For me, writing it down used the talent he gave me to make sure every communication with him was heartfelt and unselfish. Each person finds their own level of comfort when communicating to the Father. It’s important to embrace the blessing of prayer through Jesus Christ. It’s an amazing gift. When we reach from within and lean on Him, what comes from our lips, from our mind, from our heart, from our pen, from our blog; well, it’s more than just words.
Many years ago my maternal grandmother, Bertie Mae Cochran taught me that you shouldn’t pursue anything in life that you haven’t prayed about. She told me that God knows what is in our hearts and minds. She said he already knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but he still wanted me to ask for it. She was incredibly right. There are so many blessings I have received in my life because after trying to accomplish them on my own, I finally turned to God and asked for His help. Once I submitted to His will, it would come to pass.
I used to always talk to Bertie Mae about my dreams. I would read short stories to her that I had penned and get her reaction. She always loved to hear my thoughts. She told me when I was alone in my room at night, to read them in prayer to the Lord.
As adults, we lose our way so often. Especially in a world where it’s common to put your faith in man over your faith in God, you are bound to be disappointed. Philippians says “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” It doesn’t say I can do all things through the President of my company, the leader of my social organization, or a member of my family. Another factor we seem to forget is that no one wants us to succeed more than God. Our spouses or companions, parents, siblings, best friends, etc., they may support us to the best of their ability, but that ability does not even come close to the desire the Father has for our well being. He wants to see the manifestation of all his children’s dreams as long as they are in our best interest and we don’t lose site that all glory belongs to Him.
William Arthur Ward said, “God wants us to be victors, not victims; to grow, not grovel; to soar, not sink; to overcome, not to be overwhelmed.” Trust in Him daily and pray diligently and we will find our victory.
Over the past several years I have found myself in seriously unhealthy situations. Some life threatening illnesses, self-destructing depression, and attacks from the devil and his adversaries to challenge my Christianity. I looked back on one of the last conversations I ever had with Bertie Mae. She told me once that when I write, it sounds like “more than just words.” She said it was inspiration on paper. She told me that I should write my prayers down and then when I realize God is answering them, I can go back and see his miraculous hand in my life daily. It took me several years and lots of turmoil to finally put the advice of the woman who served as my best friend and soul mate for 31 years into action.
Last year when some might think I was at rock bottom, I started a new journal of prayers. I penned entries each day pouring out my heart in private to God, through the power of prayer in Jesus name. I keep a prayer journal in my desk in my office. I keep a journal next to my bed at home. Almost one year to the day I began the “prayer journals,” I find myself the most happy, blessed and content I have ever been in my life. The work God has performed in my life has been amazing. I am in awe. My expectations were greatly exceeded. I am more excited about the future than I have ever been. I give all glory and honor to His name as it should be. I Chronicles 16:29 says “Give to the Lord the glory due His name….”
I have learned that a prayer must be sincere. For me, writing it down used the talent he gave me to make sure every communication with him was heartfelt and unselfish. Each person finds their own level of comfort when communicating to the Father. It’s important to embrace the blessing of prayer through Jesus Christ. It’s an amazing gift. When we reach from within and lean on Him, what comes from our lips, from our mind, from our heart, from our pen, from our blog; well, it’s more than just words.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Pumehana Pu'uwai
People we encounter on our journey can truly change our lives. I have always struggled with patience. In fact, I used to be pretty terrible at it. It’s a bad attribute to have when you are in the business of managing people. It’s important for a leader to understand others’ situations, to be able to “step into their shoes.” I am so grateful for the life lessons taught to me by several wonderful people I have had the opportunity to work with through the years. I recently had the opportunity to renew communication with a dear friend, Leialoha Kaaihue. She made quite an impression on me when we met, and it changed me as a person, as a leader, and as a man. Ms. “Lei” is of course from Hawaii, and she is an example of a warm heart, or Pumehana Pu’awai as she would say.
About seven years ago, I was managing a business in a very rural county here in Alabama. I was looking out the window one day and I saw this lady with long dark hair walking down the road. It was a busy highway, so I wondered why she was walking. She appeared to be in her mid 40s and was dressed very neat. A few minutes later, she came into my business. I spoke to her and she greeted me with a really nice smile. She told me she was interested in a job and wanted to know if we had any positions available. There was just something about her smile, her confidence. It intrigued me. We sat down and began to have a conversation. I learned that she had been born and raised in Hawaii. She had recently relocated to this small Alabama town for her own personal safety. She had endured many years of domestic violence back home and had no choice but to come to the mainland to get away from her situation. I listened as she spoke of raising her children, and the twenty year career she had in the tourism industry. There was so much charisma in this very sharp lady.
Since her arrival to Alabama, she had struggled to find work. A small restaurant had hired her, but it was hard to live on the minimum wage and limited work hours. She had no means of transportation; this is why she was walking. Still, her spirit was strong. Her resolve, unchanged. I told her I would do everything I could to work her into our schedule.
Over the course of the next few weeks I learned more about her experiences and watched her grow in her role with our organization. She was always on time. I would go and pick her up at her apartment when I could, and try to arrange for her to have rides home, etc. Her work was fantastic. She stood out among all my employees. Within the first year, she was promoted to a salaried management position and her life began to change. She bought a car, moved into different house and spent the next 5 years growing in our company, eventually into the position I held when we met. At a company convention in 2007, I was able to honor her with an award on stage. She and I were both in tears as I introduced her and told her story.
Ms. Lei is a strong individual. She has endured so much in her life and continues to remain strong in faith. She is a kind and warm person who never judges anyone. She is appreciative of her friends, family, and loved ones. She has taught me so much about not judging someone before you get to know them. She is an example of unconditional friendship.
Both our careers went in different directions and we lost touch. Fortunately, through Facebook, we were able to connect once again earlier this year. I am excited to learn that she is returning to Alabama later in the year. I have promised to help in her career search, and I am looking forward to seeing my friend again. We serve such a wonderful God. He places people along our journey to shape us into the people he intends for us to be. At a time when I needed to learn patience, tolerance, and selflessness, he sent me a teacher, one with a warm heart. Pumehana Pu’uwai.
About seven years ago, I was managing a business in a very rural county here in Alabama. I was looking out the window one day and I saw this lady with long dark hair walking down the road. It was a busy highway, so I wondered why she was walking. She appeared to be in her mid 40s and was dressed very neat. A few minutes later, she came into my business. I spoke to her and she greeted me with a really nice smile. She told me she was interested in a job and wanted to know if we had any positions available. There was just something about her smile, her confidence. It intrigued me. We sat down and began to have a conversation. I learned that she had been born and raised in Hawaii. She had recently relocated to this small Alabama town for her own personal safety. She had endured many years of domestic violence back home and had no choice but to come to the mainland to get away from her situation. I listened as she spoke of raising her children, and the twenty year career she had in the tourism industry. There was so much charisma in this very sharp lady.
Since her arrival to Alabama, she had struggled to find work. A small restaurant had hired her, but it was hard to live on the minimum wage and limited work hours. She had no means of transportation; this is why she was walking. Still, her spirit was strong. Her resolve, unchanged. I told her I would do everything I could to work her into our schedule.
Over the course of the next few weeks I learned more about her experiences and watched her grow in her role with our organization. She was always on time. I would go and pick her up at her apartment when I could, and try to arrange for her to have rides home, etc. Her work was fantastic. She stood out among all my employees. Within the first year, she was promoted to a salaried management position and her life began to change. She bought a car, moved into different house and spent the next 5 years growing in our company, eventually into the position I held when we met. At a company convention in 2007, I was able to honor her with an award on stage. She and I were both in tears as I introduced her and told her story.
Ms. Lei is a strong individual. She has endured so much in her life and continues to remain strong in faith. She is a kind and warm person who never judges anyone. She is appreciative of her friends, family, and loved ones. She has taught me so much about not judging someone before you get to know them. She is an example of unconditional friendship.
Both our careers went in different directions and we lost touch. Fortunately, through Facebook, we were able to connect once again earlier this year. I am excited to learn that she is returning to Alabama later in the year. I have promised to help in her career search, and I am looking forward to seeing my friend again. We serve such a wonderful God. He places people along our journey to shape us into the people he intends for us to be. At a time when I needed to learn patience, tolerance, and selflessness, he sent me a teacher, one with a warm heart. Pumehana Pu’uwai.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Roll Up Your Sleeves
I am one man with one opinion. I didn’t write the constitution and I don’t profess to know every word or understand all it’s meaning. From a common middle class perspective however, I am under the impression the constitution exists to among other things insure that we are all treated equally. The only problem with this way of thinking….we don’t all behave equally.
I grew up in a single wide trailer. My parents bought it in the 1960s and built a couple of rooms on as our family grew. My mother still lives there today. She is just as proud of her home as anyone you would know. It was the best they could do on the income they earned from the cotton mills. We were not poor by any means…meaning there was always food on the table, clean clothes to wear to school, and we never went without electricity or any of the basic needs including medical care. My parents worked hard, but they were not financially ambitious. This was fine, because they were also not materialistic.
You see in my opinion, you can’t have the best of both worlds. You can’t have a lack of ambition and then be materialistic. Somewhere over the last 25 years or so we have regressed as a society. Too many people want the nice cars, the big houses, the best smart phones, and all the designer clothes, but they don’t want to work for it.
Don’t doubt my analysis of this situation we have gotten ourselves into. I speak from personal experience of over 20 years of supervising people. When I got my first job, I was so excited. Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s I can remember being on a wait list just to land a job at the local fast food restaurant. When I finally got hired…it took me about one month to be promoted. My cotton mill working parents taught me never to lay out of work, always volunteer for extra shifts, and attempt to be the best employee I could regardless of where I worked. Yes, I said my parents taught me that. In these days however, I can’t tell you how many parents I know who call their kids employer to complain about how they have been treated, rather than encourage the kid to suck it up and do their job.
I graduated from high school with a 3.56 GPA, but it was too average to get a scholarship. I had $500 in savings from cutting grass and from graduation gifts. I knew if I wanted to go to college, I had to get a job. Through the summer of 1990 I worked two jobs and earned enough to pay my first semester tuition and books at Jacksonville State University. Fortunately, I was able to live at home in that single wide with my parents and younger sister. I realize my start out in life was not as rough as some, but it wasn’t a cake walk either. It took ambition and determination if I wanted to grow in my career and get an education.
I have supervised as many as 300 employees indirectly at one time. It’s unfortunate the number of them who complain about work, call out for the slightest reason, and always think the grass is greener on the other side. This country is only going to get stronger when we as individuals stop thinking we are entitled.
Our entire welfare system needs to be regulated. We have enabled people to become dependent on the government for support. We have taught an entire generation of people that Joe is just as entitled to everything John is whether he works for it or not. We enable young vibrant people to stay home and draw support when they are fully capable of working. We reward young people for having child after child out of wedlock by increasing their welfare. All the while, the fathers of these children are not working, they are out producing more with other girls. I am not stereotyping any particular race…both whites, blacks, and others are guilty!
W e complain about Mexicans crossing the border and taking our jobs, yet the chicken plants, construction companies and other blue collar employers have no choice when people refuse to work because they can gain government support without working. Oh, and their attitude is….I am not working for minimum wage!
President Obama is all about assigning “Czar’s” to reform programs and lead our government. We need a new Welfare Reform Czar who realizes we are holding back an entire generation of people from reaching their potential by enabling their socialistic lazy attitudes. It kills me to think about the fact that an employee of an organization can lose their job if they fail a drug test, yet welfare recipients are not required to be tested. It might infringe on their civil liberty?????
I am reminded of a story I once heard about Abraham Lincoln. Anyone who knows anything about Lincoln knows he came from very poor beginnings, but he loved everyone and was very much in favor of freedom for all. During a speech at a small church a wealthy and socially elite lady approached him and asked this question, “Mr. Lincoln, what was your family’s coat of arms?” Lincoln kind of grunted and replied, “A pair of rolled up sleeves.”
Young people…roll up your sleeves. Sometimes you might have to take a job you don’t want. We have all been there. I don’t know many people who start climbing a ladder half way up!
I grew up in a single wide trailer. My parents bought it in the 1960s and built a couple of rooms on as our family grew. My mother still lives there today. She is just as proud of her home as anyone you would know. It was the best they could do on the income they earned from the cotton mills. We were not poor by any means…meaning there was always food on the table, clean clothes to wear to school, and we never went without electricity or any of the basic needs including medical care. My parents worked hard, but they were not financially ambitious. This was fine, because they were also not materialistic.
You see in my opinion, you can’t have the best of both worlds. You can’t have a lack of ambition and then be materialistic. Somewhere over the last 25 years or so we have regressed as a society. Too many people want the nice cars, the big houses, the best smart phones, and all the designer clothes, but they don’t want to work for it.
Don’t doubt my analysis of this situation we have gotten ourselves into. I speak from personal experience of over 20 years of supervising people. When I got my first job, I was so excited. Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s I can remember being on a wait list just to land a job at the local fast food restaurant. When I finally got hired…it took me about one month to be promoted. My cotton mill working parents taught me never to lay out of work, always volunteer for extra shifts, and attempt to be the best employee I could regardless of where I worked. Yes, I said my parents taught me that. In these days however, I can’t tell you how many parents I know who call their kids employer to complain about how they have been treated, rather than encourage the kid to suck it up and do their job.
I graduated from high school with a 3.56 GPA, but it was too average to get a scholarship. I had $500 in savings from cutting grass and from graduation gifts. I knew if I wanted to go to college, I had to get a job. Through the summer of 1990 I worked two jobs and earned enough to pay my first semester tuition and books at Jacksonville State University. Fortunately, I was able to live at home in that single wide with my parents and younger sister. I realize my start out in life was not as rough as some, but it wasn’t a cake walk either. It took ambition and determination if I wanted to grow in my career and get an education.
I have supervised as many as 300 employees indirectly at one time. It’s unfortunate the number of them who complain about work, call out for the slightest reason, and always think the grass is greener on the other side. This country is only going to get stronger when we as individuals stop thinking we are entitled.
Our entire welfare system needs to be regulated. We have enabled people to become dependent on the government for support. We have taught an entire generation of people that Joe is just as entitled to everything John is whether he works for it or not. We enable young vibrant people to stay home and draw support when they are fully capable of working. We reward young people for having child after child out of wedlock by increasing their welfare. All the while, the fathers of these children are not working, they are out producing more with other girls. I am not stereotyping any particular race…both whites, blacks, and others are guilty!
W e complain about Mexicans crossing the border and taking our jobs, yet the chicken plants, construction companies and other blue collar employers have no choice when people refuse to work because they can gain government support without working. Oh, and their attitude is….I am not working for minimum wage!
President Obama is all about assigning “Czar’s” to reform programs and lead our government. We need a new Welfare Reform Czar who realizes we are holding back an entire generation of people from reaching their potential by enabling their socialistic lazy attitudes. It kills me to think about the fact that an employee of an organization can lose their job if they fail a drug test, yet welfare recipients are not required to be tested. It might infringe on their civil liberty?????
I am reminded of a story I once heard about Abraham Lincoln. Anyone who knows anything about Lincoln knows he came from very poor beginnings, but he loved everyone and was very much in favor of freedom for all. During a speech at a small church a wealthy and socially elite lady approached him and asked this question, “Mr. Lincoln, what was your family’s coat of arms?” Lincoln kind of grunted and replied, “A pair of rolled up sleeves.”
Young people…roll up your sleeves. Sometimes you might have to take a job you don’t want. We have all been there. I don’t know many people who start climbing a ladder half way up!
The Day Austin Called 911
Children are hilarious. There’s just never a dull moment when you have a little one around. I have a special place in my heart for kids, especially those who have special needs. My nephew, Austin is 14 now and has been hearing impaired all his life. He does very well with his disability. He strives to be as mainstream as possible, but sometimes I think his challenges may actually help him cling to his innocence just a little longer.
One of the funniest stores I could tell about Austin, who is now a Freshman in high school happened when he was about 9. He is a lover of pets. Much more than anyone I have ever met. I have determined that he loves animals more than people. On this particular day he was outside playing and enjoying his many animals. His grandmother was just across the yard tending to her garden. She always tries to keep a close eye on Austin…many would say she is overprotective. On this day she stopped cold in her tracks at the sound of his frightening scream.
Immediately she began running toward where she had left him. She stumbled and twisted her ankle which slowed her progress, but still she hobbled toward the house. Just as she rounded the corner, she saw Austin running in the back door of her house. As she got closer, she saw the problem. Two of his dogs were “hung up.” The male had actually turned around and was trying to run away from the female, but things just weren’t working the way they should, or maybe they were working too well. You get the picture.
It was too late once my mother finally caught up with Austin in the house. He was already on the phone with a 911 operator. “My dogs behinds are stuck together,” he exclaimed! Mom finally wrestled the phone from his hand and explained the situation to the very professional operator. She reassured her that Animal Control did not need to be dispatched, the situation as under control.
It took hours to calm Austin down and of course he was full of questions. His grandmother was not prepared to explain, so she simply referred him to his own mother for answers. His mother, my sister was apparently taken aback as well and simply told him the two dogs had sat in chewing gum in the yard and accidentally backed into one another. I know…she took the easy way out, but what would you have said to a 9 year old?
Later that day I stopped in for a visit. He met me at the truck before I could even open my door. “Uncle Rob….whatever you do…don’t spit your gum in Grandma’s yard!”
One of the funniest stores I could tell about Austin, who is now a Freshman in high school happened when he was about 9. He is a lover of pets. Much more than anyone I have ever met. I have determined that he loves animals more than people. On this particular day he was outside playing and enjoying his many animals. His grandmother was just across the yard tending to her garden. She always tries to keep a close eye on Austin…many would say she is overprotective. On this day she stopped cold in her tracks at the sound of his frightening scream.
Immediately she began running toward where she had left him. She stumbled and twisted her ankle which slowed her progress, but still she hobbled toward the house. Just as she rounded the corner, she saw Austin running in the back door of her house. As she got closer, she saw the problem. Two of his dogs were “hung up.” The male had actually turned around and was trying to run away from the female, but things just weren’t working the way they should, or maybe they were working too well. You get the picture.
It was too late once my mother finally caught up with Austin in the house. He was already on the phone with a 911 operator. “My dogs behinds are stuck together,” he exclaimed! Mom finally wrestled the phone from his hand and explained the situation to the very professional operator. She reassured her that Animal Control did not need to be dispatched, the situation as under control.
It took hours to calm Austin down and of course he was full of questions. His grandmother was not prepared to explain, so she simply referred him to his own mother for answers. His mother, my sister was apparently taken aback as well and simply told him the two dogs had sat in chewing gum in the yard and accidentally backed into one another. I know…she took the easy way out, but what would you have said to a 9 year old?
Later that day I stopped in for a visit. He met me at the truck before I could even open my door. “Uncle Rob….whatever you do…don’t spit your gum in Grandma’s yard!”
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Everybody Was A Cousin Back Then
I had the amazing experience of growing up in a small community in northeast Alabama called Roy Webb. My assistant makes fun of me today because I am always referring to Roy Webb Road. The funny thing is that I should be making fun of her...she can't say Roy Webb Road without mixing up the letters...go ahead, say it over and over.
Back in Roy Webb in the peaceful late 1970s and early 1980s, some of my closest friends and I attended this beautiful old country school sitting on a hill overlooking...yes...Roy Webb Road. Life long relationships were formed in this old building. I can still smell the beautiful hardwood as the fond memories dance around in my mind.
We all rode busses to school. There was no need for a "car riders" line. Our parents were all friends with each other and the bus drivers, so there was plenty of trust. For many of us, our parents had attended that very school years earlier.
There were fun filled Fall Festival's where we enjoyed the Cake Walk, the Spook House, and just about every kind of fun activity you could imagine. It truly was a time when parents took a vested interest in the education of their children, and people became educators because they cared.
I had the fortune of being in the same classroom with FOUR of my first cousins my entire time at Roy Webb and one THIRD cousin. Did I mention there were only 25-28 kids in each class, so being related to that many of your classmates was a big deal. Over the course of the six years we attended this elementary school everyone became family. To this day I love those people as much as I could love anyone. I was having lunch with a friend, Sherry Johnson-Morgan just the other day and I realized we had been freinds for over 32 years. She starred opposite me in the first grade play. I was the prince and she was the princess. There was no name calling, no fighting, no judgement between me and my classmates. We were taught to say I'm sorry right away for any wrongdoing and to mend our fences each day before we went home. It was a simpler time. I wish our children today had the opportunity to experience that kind of respect for each other.
In 1998, I had an amazing opportunity to address a sub-committee of Congress regarding the prevention of youth violence in our schools. I drew on the experiences of my youth at Roy Webb in writing that speech. The relationships our children form will determine what kind of adults they become. In the south it means everything to be a "cousin." I am so grateful that as I look back and remember each of those beautiful souls I encountered, it is evident to me...everybody was a cousin....and they still are today. Much love to all the Roy Webb Family.
Back in Roy Webb in the peaceful late 1970s and early 1980s, some of my closest friends and I attended this beautiful old country school sitting on a hill overlooking...yes...Roy Webb Road. Life long relationships were formed in this old building. I can still smell the beautiful hardwood as the fond memories dance around in my mind.
We all rode busses to school. There was no need for a "car riders" line. Our parents were all friends with each other and the bus drivers, so there was plenty of trust. For many of us, our parents had attended that very school years earlier.
There were fun filled Fall Festival's where we enjoyed the Cake Walk, the Spook House, and just about every kind of fun activity you could imagine. It truly was a time when parents took a vested interest in the education of their children, and people became educators because they cared.
I had the fortune of being in the same classroom with FOUR of my first cousins my entire time at Roy Webb and one THIRD cousin. Did I mention there were only 25-28 kids in each class, so being related to that many of your classmates was a big deal. Over the course of the six years we attended this elementary school everyone became family. To this day I love those people as much as I could love anyone. I was having lunch with a friend, Sherry Johnson-Morgan just the other day and I realized we had been freinds for over 32 years. She starred opposite me in the first grade play. I was the prince and she was the princess. There was no name calling, no fighting, no judgement between me and my classmates. We were taught to say I'm sorry right away for any wrongdoing and to mend our fences each day before we went home. It was a simpler time. I wish our children today had the opportunity to experience that kind of respect for each other.
In 1998, I had an amazing opportunity to address a sub-committee of Congress regarding the prevention of youth violence in our schools. I drew on the experiences of my youth at Roy Webb in writing that speech. The relationships our children form will determine what kind of adults they become. In the south it means everything to be a "cousin." I am so grateful that as I look back and remember each of those beautiful souls I encountered, it is evident to me...everybody was a cousin....and they still are today. Much love to all the Roy Webb Family.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
This Must Be What They Call The Ocean
It was the summer of 1994 and I had been reassigned to the Huntsville area with my job. Granny (Bertie Mae) and I had never been separated. In fact she had lived in my back door for the entire 22 years of my exhistance. We talked on the phone every single night and I ventured home every off day. Finally she asked me to take her to Huntsville with me for a short visit. "I just want to see where you sit on the couch when we talk on the phone," she explained. "It will me make me feel better if I can imagine you there when we talk."
I picked her up in my small white pick-up and we headed north on US 431. As we approached the town of Guntersville I explained to her that we would be crossing a lot of water and she should not be nervous. As we crossed the large bridge over Lake Guntersville (The Tennessee River), her mouth dropped and she raised up in the seat. She gasped, "this must be what they call the ocean?" I laughed a little and then realized she was serious. I asked, "Granny, have you never seen the ocean?" She replied that she had never seen anything. Immediately the wheels in my mind began to turn.
Two weeks later I drove her to Gulf Shores, Alabama. We stayed in a beautiful high rise
hotel where all the rooms had a private balcony overlooking the beach. She couldn't tell what she was about to see when we drove in because of the buildings and her sight was already bad. My anxiety built like my tears are now as I write this. We rode the elevator up to our room on the 8th floor. I walked her out on the balcony and she had to take two steps back. She absolutely could not believe her eyes. We spent two days and nights on that balcony laughing and talking about things and enjoying God's most wonderful and beautiful creation.
Nine years later, after hours and hours of struggling in the hospital, we reached the last few moments of her life. All the family was gathered around, but I was at the head of her bed craddling her in my arms. I whispered "I will see you at the beach."......and I surely will.
I picked her up in my small white pick-up and we headed north on US 431. As we approached the town of Guntersville I explained to her that we would be crossing a lot of water and she should not be nervous. As we crossed the large bridge over Lake Guntersville (The Tennessee River), her mouth dropped and she raised up in the seat. She gasped, "this must be what they call the ocean?" I laughed a little and then realized she was serious. I asked, "Granny, have you never seen the ocean?" She replied that she had never seen anything. Immediately the wheels in my mind began to turn.
Two weeks later I drove her to Gulf Shores, Alabama. We stayed in a beautiful high rise
hotel where all the rooms had a private balcony overlooking the beach. She couldn't tell what she was about to see when we drove in because of the buildings and her sight was already bad. My anxiety built like my tears are now as I write this. We rode the elevator up to our room on the 8th floor. I walked her out on the balcony and she had to take two steps back. She absolutely could not believe her eyes. We spent two days and nights on that balcony laughing and talking about things and enjoying God's most wonderful and beautiful creation.
Nine years later, after hours and hours of struggling in the hospital, we reached the last few moments of her life. All the family was gathered around, but I was at the head of her bed craddling her in my arms. I whispered "I will see you at the beach."......and I surely will.
Introduction
I have come to the conclusion the only way to impact the world is to let your voice be heard. This is my debut in the blogging world. I have a lot to say. To begin with I will introduce myself as a Christian. First and foremost I serve God. I believe he is the Creator of all and that His Son Jesus Christ gave his life so that my sins would be washed away. As a Christian, I believe it is up to me to work out my own salvation with fear and trembling. I should not place my faith in man or rely on man to dictate how I should live my life. I should not sit in judgement of anyone else. Regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc., it is not place to condemn anyone. We are all created equal and we should all learn to live in harmony here on earth, just as we will in Heaven.
Politically, I believe in voting for the man or woman who is right for the postion. Fiscally, I am extremely conservative and believe that each person has a responsibility to provide for themselves. I do believe as a nation we have a resopnsibility to take care of the disabled, elderly, and children, but I disagree with any form of "spreading the wealth." Government welfare programs should be in place to help the less fortunate, but I believe in heavy reform and regulation of these programs. Socially, I am moderate. In my opinion most social issues should not be regulated by the government. A person should have the right to practice their own religion, speech, right to bear arms, pursue relationships, etc.
Politically, I believe in voting for the man or woman who is right for the postion. Fiscally, I am extremely conservative and believe that each person has a responsibility to provide for themselves. I do believe as a nation we have a resopnsibility to take care of the disabled, elderly, and children, but I disagree with any form of "spreading the wealth." Government welfare programs should be in place to help the less fortunate, but I believe in heavy reform and regulation of these programs. Socially, I am moderate. In my opinion most social issues should not be regulated by the government. A person should have the right to practice their own religion, speech, right to bear arms, pursue relationships, etc.
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