God Dwells In Faith, the devil deals in doubt...

It happens every time.  Right after something amazing and uplifting in my life, I tend to crash.  Does it ever happen to you?  You accomplish or experience something great that you have been waiting a long time for and then when it’s over you wonder what do you have to look forward to?  For a person who struggles with an emotional illness, this “cycling” is heightened. 

This weekend I was exchanging emails with one of my lifelong friends.  As a matter of fact she is probably known me longer than just about anyone and I would say probably knows me better.  Our relationship is one where she could finish my sentences and knows most of my secrets before I even think about telling her.  I confided in her that since my return from Mexico I was feeling down and out and not certain about some decisions I had made and basically just feeling like an underachiever.  She has seen this behavior from me numerous times and shared with me her own personal doubts.  She commented that she was continually doubting love, her appearance, her performance as a mother, wife, so on and so forth.  After dwelling on these things, I had a particularly rough Monday and then just when I needed Him, God’s shoulder appeared.

Just about every preacher I have ever known has told me that we all make the mistake of putting too much faith in man.  That’s probably an understatement.  It’s very common…we all definitely do that on a daily basis.  However, I got to thinking, is it faith in man…or is it doubt.  Does doubt in what we as men and women can accomplish outweigh our faith in what God can accomplish?  For me, that’s where I have been lacking lately.  I have faith in God and I express it on a daily basis and I share it with my colleagues, friends and loved ones, but while my faith may be apparent, my doubt in myself and others is creeping up to an all time high.  I have to break through this cloud in my head and let it really sink in that doubt contradicts faith.  You can’t believe that God will deliver you from a negative circumstance or turn your failures into successes, unless you realize that he uses man to do this.  I have spent so much time making sure I don’t trust anyone else or myself, that I have allowed doubt to succeed. 

Basically we have to realize that God is not going to hand us happiness in the form of cold hard cash, or a beach house in Key West, or a six foot blonde from Sweden. Desires we take to Him in prayer come about by the efforts we put forth in accomplishing these goals.  The people that we work with, play with, serve with, worship with, etc., are tools in this process also.  Therefore having faith in God means faith in His plan and no doubts must exist.  Easier said than done, right?  The only way to defeat the devil’s power over our lives is to utilize all the resources we have available to us to accomplish our goals and God’s plan.   The Father dwells in faith, the devil deals in doubt.  Stand with me, pray with me, the scripture says it all.  Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”

On The Other Side

For years in my professional career I have heard leaders use the phrase “the grass is not always greener on the other side.”  This statement of course is often utilized with a disgruntled employee who is looking for something better at another job.  The quote is also applicable to marriages, friendships, churches, etc.  One place that I will say there are greener pastures is definitely on the other side of an emotional episode.  If you suffer or have ever suffered from depression, bipolar disorder or other emotional illnesses then you know exactly what I mean.

The symptoms of a manic episode are horrific.  A person is simply going about their day and something triggers a flood of negative emotions and before we know it, we are paralyzed with mental anguish.  It’s hard to articulate the feeling of depression to someone who has never truly felt a severe episode.  It is certainly one of the most out of control, helpless and hopeless feelings imaginable.  As I have gotten stronger over the years, I have been able to convince myself that life would be better as soon as the feeling passed.  In fact, when my serotonin levels increase and I pull out of a manic episode I almost condemn myself as silly or immature.  I used to always ask the question, what person, what man allows himself to be overwhelmed with despair?  It took a long time and several doctors before I understood the explanation of chemical imbalances.

An accurate diagnosis is often difficult with a depression patient.  Is it seasonal?  Is manic?  Bipolar I or Bipolar II?  We can complete all the questionnaires and surveys in the world still it takes time and trial and error to treat such a debilitating illness.  One of the most encouraging things my medical doctor has ever said to me is that “if this doesn’t work…something else will.”  I knew I was seeing a doctor who clearly understood the unpredictability of my illness when he said this, because it is ever changing.  The same rule applies to physical conditions like high blood pressure or cancer.  Your body becomes immune after a while and new treatment must be prescribed to generate the desired results.

Understanding that a manic episode was largely out of my control actually helped me to get a handle on dealing with the symptoms.  Now that I have a better understanding of the process and what happens to my mind and body during a “flare up” I can help with a better outcome.  The more I talk about it, write about it and engage with other’s who suffer from similar problems, the more I can handle my own.  If I could accomplish one thing by being open and honest about emotional struggles it would be to change the general population’s attitude from ashamed and embarrassed, to capable and optimistic about winning the fight. 

If you or someone you love suffers from any form of depression, I highly recommend taking every precaution and ever step to limit the length of a manic episode.  Utilize reaffirming statements like “I will be better on the other side of this.”  People say hindsight is 20/20 in a somewhat sarcastic tone as if there is nothing we can do about the past.  However, learning from what mistakes we have made in the past is the only way to limit our suffering in the future.  You can’t handle anything in this life alone.  Help is out there.  Sometimes we just have to seek it.  We start with God and He places the right people in our path to bring about the change we need.  Trust me…I have been there and now it feels great to be on the other side.