Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Tracy Lawrence sings one of my favorite country music songs of all time, “You Find Out Who Your Friends Are.” Like most country songs, all of us can relate certain aspects of our lives to the lyrics. For example, your car breaks down, you need a couch to sleep on…when your down on your luck, you call on a friend. Having a really good and close friend is an incredible gift from God and by mastering the art of friendship ourselves, we in turn show gratitude to God for the loved ones we have in our lives.


Jesus Christ gave a simple but profound illustration of expressing love by an act of service when He washed the feet of His disciples. It was customary for the servant of the house to wash the feet, but Jesus, exemplifying the humblest of hearts took this chore upon himself. Do we humble ourselves in love and friendship to our friends?

I have to tell you….I adore the people in my life I call my friends. In fact, several of my friends are constantly calling me “mushy.” You don’t find many men who are willing to openly express their feelings to others, both male and female. My Granny taught me at a very early age to show people how much you love them. It’s one of those things I just can’t control. I love to love other people. I believe it’s what God expects out of us. Now, you don’t necessarily have to talk about love to show it. There are so many acts of kindness a man or woman can perform to demonstrate their love for friends.

Building friendships based on love requires effort and discipline. We have to be willing to compromise and engage in activities that others desire even if it’s not something we are particularly interested in. Also, when building a strong relationship, we must be disciplined in the art of unconditional love. Isn’t it wonderful when you have a friend that never passes judgment on you? There is a quote I love to post on Facebook sometimes that reads something like this…”God never judges a man while he is still alive, why should we?” It’s hard not to judge someone that may have different attributes, pursuits or makes decisions we would not make, but true love and friendship is about acceptance, not necessarily understanding.

I have a friend named Michelle who I have only seen in person twice in my life. We met through a support group for Bipolar Disorder. She lives with her family in Seattle. We are in constant contact and I look forward to her daily emails, messages, phone calls, etc., and I know she looks forward to mine. We have very different lives, yet, we found something in common and we built a lifelong friendship that transcends distance. I sometimes wonder where I would be in life without her encouragement.

I have best friends at work, church, school, previous employers, etc., who know me as well or better than some family members and they accept by faults and celebrate my positive abilities.

I have a close knit circle of friends whom I travel with….Tracy, Cindy, and Paul. We share every aspect of our lives and we spend hours together in laughter and enjoyment of this principle God instilled in all of us to learn to love each other and live in harmony. I personally believe that if we have a desire to go to Heaven, we must learn to create a “heavenly heart” within ourselves on this earth.

It sounds a little like Utopia to imagine that everyone would get along all the time with the differing views and opinions on so many subjects. However, what I think we have to put into practice in our daily lives is tolerance. I do not know two people in this world who agree on every single detail of every single subject. The more I age, the more I understand that God wants me to “get out of his chair.” He wants me to allow him to determine what is right or wrong about other people and work on my own doorsteps. It is a hard lesson to learn, but once we do this, we can find more consistent happiness in our own lives.

Just as the country music tune chimes, “Somebody’s gonna drop everything…get there fast, never stop to think, what’s in it for me?” When you selflessly try to build friendships and speak or show your love for others, what’s in it for you is most likely greater than you could ever imagine. To my friends, this is for you….I love you!!